Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Hi everyone. Its just me, Diva. I told mom to stay in the soap shop today and give me a break. You would think she is the one that is pregnant. Everytime I moan she comes running. Everytime I burp she comes running. Everytime I go lay down in my stall she comes running. She has this box in my stall that listens to every sound I make. I tried to take the box down but I couldn't reach it. I tell you mom is driving me crazy! She makes me take my vitamins every morning. She lifts my tail 50 million times a day. Lord only knows what she is looking for but it sure is embarrassing! She is feeling my back and sides everytime she comes out. She keeps saying she wishes she could touch her fingers to her thumb when she is feeling my spine and tailbone. All I know is that I need a break from this lady that use to be nice, calm , and sweet . I like my space, if you know what I mean. I like to lay down to sleep and not look over and see her laying on her blanket watching me breathe. I keep telling her that I will call out really loud when I go in labor so she won't miss a thing but she doesn't believe me. She has a bag packed by the door with things she says she might need when I kid. I saw her list of things and I never needed any of them when I kidded before but Mom thinks she knows best.

1. Emergency phone #'s ( My family don't have phones so who does she think she will call?)

2. Empty feed sacks ( she thinks things are going to be messy. I KNOW they will)

3. Paper towels and clean rags ( from the pile of clean rags she has you would think I am going to have a whole herd of kids for her to wipe dry)

4. Puppy Pads ( She has a ton of these for the kids to lay on while I clean them. I hope she doesn't need them all!)

5.Big trash bag (With all she has packed I know she will need a trash bag when things are done)

6. Flashlight ( I just hope she doesn't lift my tail and shine it every 5 seconds)

7. Scissors ( She thinks she might have to use them to trim the cord but I doubt it)

8. Betadine ( To clean her hands incase she has to go in and turn one of the kids. Please oh please don't let her have to do that!)

9.OB Lube ( for reason above and again please oh please don't let this happen!)

10. Iodine ( for kids umbilical cord)

11. Empty film canister (to put the iodine in to dip the kids umbilical cord in)

12. Dental Floss ( incase she has to cut the cord she can use this to tie it off)

13. Baby bottle ( incase one of the kids needs it or in Mom's mind incase I have more than 2 babies)

14. Syringe ( incase she needs to clear the kids nose and mouth to help it breathe)

15.Molasses, warm water and grain ( this ideal I like as its for me after I give birth. Mom may need to have something stronger when its all over, think I will add to her list)

16. Camera ( any bets on how calm she will be to take pictures?)

These are the things I am having to put up with around here. I know when the time comes mom will be here for me and I will be glad she is but until then does anyone need a crazy lady?


the night owl said...

Hi Peggy,.... I am sitting here and laughing my head off, reading your post.I love the part about looking at her butt and using the flashlight..I think the lube would help to slip out the kids.I will continue to follow and good luck..... Baba

Mrs.Garcia said...

Peggy, Diva is so cute.
I will be praying for you, for diva and for her kids.
Please Diva Hold out until Mother's Day.

Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...

Peggy, you seen to have all the bases covered. I hope you don't have to turn any kids. I have had to do such things with cows to improve their presentation. it can be difficult and messy. At the time you don't mind the mess. I had a lady friend who went into the birth canal of a pig up to her elbow to turn a stuck piglet. (She must have really loved me!) Right away 12 piglet popped out to join the first two. Exciting stuff!

Marci said...

You are more ready than I have ever been. Relax... breathe.... It will be all right!!!! =)

meggie said...

Dont forget to breathe!
Sounds like you are well prepared for every possibility.

amelia said...

I am laughing reading this! If Diva could talk it's probably exactly what she'd be saying!!!

It's a FLIP-FLOP World said...

Well Diva you have to remember that mommies are like this!! Just wait until those little ones are born and then you will understand. Sandy

Tee said...

Awh - LOL! You're a good Mama! :)

I LOOOOOVE your new header graphic! That's gorgeous!

Not moving to Fayetsville but I think we won't be too far. We're looking at Charlotte. :)

PEA said...

Oh Diva, do you know just how lucky you are to have Peggy there with you? I agree about the "looking under my tail" habit being a bit embarassing, though! If you see her coming with an enema bag....runnnnn Diva runnnnn! hehe Oh and Diva...just to drive Peggy more crazy, wait to have the kids on May 24th ok??? Yikes, I think I'd better run now!!!!! xox

Rachel said...

I really enjoyed reading this!! Miss Diva tells it so well and makes me laugh hard!!

Sounds like you are quite prepared for anything and everything. I do hope that all goes well when the time comes and Miss Diva can handle it all alone with only the smallest amount of help! Either way you will probably need that strong drink!!

peppylady said...

Diva, don't feel bad and your mom (Peggy) heart is in the right place.

When I was pregnant with our last child our cat crawl up on my lap and put his claws in my leg and of course I re acted and Murphy jumps up and ask if I'm in labor.

Anonymous said...

That was gorgeous Peggy. Thankyou Miss Diva for allowing us to share in the miracle of birth with you. I cannot wait..... I am praying for their safe arrival.

Donna said...

Sounds like Diva got some things off her chest.

jill said...

hehehe! aww - diva will be just fine, and so will you! xoxo

you're so funny! your blog has taken over the #1 slot as my favorite blog!

jill said...

i posted my journal link wrong above ...

i just gave you a shout out on my journal! it really is the sweetest blog around! :)

Jeanette said...

Oh Ms Diva were all waiting with baited breath fot the big arrival. Dont forget your breathing lessons.
@ names I just thought of after dad Nitro, Glyerine and Dynomite lol

Anonymous said...

My dear Diva,
You are the luckiest mama-to-be around to have Peggy in your way...She is going to take good care of you. I am practically jumping out of my chair here so I can imagine how she feels.lol

Wishing you both all the best in the baby world.


miss*R said...

aren't you so glad that goats don't disappear to have their kids like cats do?
Poor Diva - I really feel for her... ps - tell her you need the phone to call the godmother :)

JoyceAnn said...

Smiling , Loved hearing Diva's side of story.
Can't wait to see pics !

Lady Laurie said...

Its ok Diva, your Mama just loves you and wants to make sure you have a smooth labor.

Can't wait to see the kids!!

Rosie said...

Looks good, Peggy!

Don't use scissors to cut the cord...tear it...though I doubt you'll need to do that...most of the time the cord tears when they drop. You need some 7% strong iodine to dip the navels in to prevent joint ill. After tying off with the floss, then you can use scissors to trim the cord. I usually grab the kids and do that in my house. So I can give them a good check over and make sure the appropriate number of nipples are there on the doe kids.

"Early Bird" said...

Listen Diva...I fully expect you to deliver on the 11th...ya hear?
And cut Miz Peggy some slack she needs to be ready for those twins you are about to deliver!!

Rosa said...

Looks like momma is ready!

Perri said...

I don't know who to feel sorry for - you or Diva! I'm leaning towards her though.