Saturday, June 07, 2008

Nitro (part 5)

Nitro was worried when mom and dad loaded him into the truck. He was afraid they might be taking him away from Hidden Haven for good and he didn't want to leave his kingdom. But he was only a little worried for he trusted his human family. They had always been honest and good to him. If they said he was only going to the doctor and back then he would just lay down, enjoy the scenery and maybe take a nap. Once they got to the hospital things moved so quickly Nitro didn't have time to worry. Dr. Foster was very nice and gentle while he checked him out. Nitro did give mom a wild look when the doctor was checking his backend! Overall the exam wasn't so bad and Nitro was beginning to relax. After talking with Nitro's human family the doctor wanted to run some tests. Mom and dad promised Nitro they would be back very soon and left so the doctor could run his tests. Nitro was given a shot that made him very very sleepy. He was relaxed he didn't even noticed them shaving part of his leg so they could find a vein to draw blood. He slept through the big machine coming in to take xrays of his head. He didn't even wake up when they shaved the side of his face and stuck needles in for a biopsy. Nitro was in dreamland and enjoying every minute. Mom and dad had came back and were in the waiting room talking with a nice lady that had a horse in surgery. She was crying so they started talking to her about Hidden Haven and dad showed her pictures on his laptop. Soon she was smiling and talking about her horse and how special he is. Mom told her about Nitro and that there was a very very small chance it was cancer but that the doctor thought it might be a bone infection. Dr. Foster came in and said he had bad news. Mom knew right away what the news was. Dad put his arm around mom and listened to Dr. Foster. He told them Nitro had lymphosarcoma, a very rare thing in goats and there was no cure. He told them he could go ahead and put Nitro down or they could take him home. Of course Nitro was going back to his kingdom. They had promised him he would be going back home. Dr. Foster gave them enough medication for 2 weeks. He said Nitro would continue to get weaker as the cancer spread. The lady came over and gave mom a hug. She told her that even though she didn't know her personally she knew mom loved Nitro and was hurting over the news. Dr. Foster took mom back to Nitro while dad went to move the truck so Nitro could get in and go home. Dr. Foster told mom they had only given Nitro a mild sedative but he was having a hard time waking up. The doctor tried talking to Nitro while rubbing his head but Nitro slept and drooled on. Mom said wake up Nitro we are going home and Nitro opened his eyes and tried to stand up. The doctor and mom had to help him. Nitro was still a little out of it but he saw the tears in moms eyes and heard the sadness in her voice. He tried to pay attention to what the doctor and mom were saying but it was hard. The doctor said something about the cancer could have been there for years, there wasn't anything mom could have done to prevent it, that Nitro's kids were fine. There was so much talking but all Nitro could focus on was mom was crying. The doctor gave Nitro a shot and said that would perk him up and make him hungry all the time. He told mom to give Nitro anything he wanted to eat anytime he wanted to eat. Now Nitro heard that and thought that was the best thing he had heard all day. Dad and the doctor helped Nitro get back in the truck and they headed back to Hidden Haven. Nitro was going home! When they arrived back at the kingdom Mom told Nitro about the cancer. She told Nitro that though there was no cure for the cancer they would do everything they could to keep him happy and painfree. This was alot for Nitro to take in. He needed some time alone to think.
He walked off by the brushpile to be alone. Now he understood why he kept losing weight. Why he was tired all the time. Why he no longer wanted to run with the boys and play. Who would watch over Hidden Haven now? Who would watch over all the little kids and teach them to be prince and princesses? He wasn't going to be here for Frosty Dan's first kids. He wasn't going to be around to grow old with Diva. His sweet Diva. Who was going to be there for her? What was his human family going to do without him? Nitro decided to talk with Diva and Sammi. He knew that they would help him get things in order and decide who would take over his caring for his kingdom. He knew Diva was already wondering why the side of his face was shaved. He might as well talk to them while they were eating so the others wouldn't overhear.
Diva had known there was something not quite right with Nitro before he went to the doctor. She never expected it to be this bad! The three of them talked and Diva told them she needed time to take all this in and went to be alone for a few minutes.
Of course its hard to keep everyone from knowing something is going on. All the other goats came over after hearing the news. Nitro ask them to please just go back to what they were doing. He wanted things to be as normal as possible.
There was one more thing Nitro needed to do that day that was going to be very very hard. His human dad was having to leave for a trip. Nitro knew he wouldn't be here when dad returned. He needed to say goodbye. He needed to let him know how much he loved him and he needed to feel the love his dad had for him one last time.
To be continued.

14 comments:

Kelley said...

Oh Peggy, my heart is breaking for you!
I couldn't stop the tears from sliding down my face...
I can't imagine what you are going through!
Please know that you all are in my prayers!

Lib said...

HI Peggy,
It was hard to read thru the tears. I wish there would be a cure found for cancer , its so wicked!!!
THat had to be so hard for William and Nitro.
XOXOXOXO to you!
Blessins',Lib

ga.farmgirl said...

Oh Peggy! I know exactly how you feel. I went through this with my cat and friend Tom who was with us 11 years. I wish I could say something to make it easier, but I know it is a process only you can travel. Everytime we loose any animal on the farm it is hard. I will be thinking of you,William, Nitro and family.
There is always hope!

Kathleen Marie said...

Typing through tears...If there is one thing I hate it is cancer... You are so in my prayers. Hugs!!

JoyceAnn said...

Speechless and Tearful ........

~ Blessings ~ JoyceAnn

Flip Flop Floozie said...

Peggy, this one made me cry!! I am sitting here with tears now!! I just feel so bad for everyone!! You are saying that he does not have much time i guess. I am just so sorry..
Sandy

City Mouse said...

The pics that you are posting with the Nitro story really speak a lot to his neat personality. I'm glad that I am getting to see them - makes me feel like I know the guy a little more.

Iowa Gal said...

I wish all us, out here, could be with you when Nitro goes. You are going to need a shoulder to cry on since William won't be there. You two have been the best "parents" for Nitro and he knows his family will be well taken care of. You will be in my prayers,

Kelly said...

Peggy, Im reading this through tears. I work in ICU and see pain every day. It just is so difficult to deal with when we love these guys so very much. Cancer is such a sad word. You and your family, both human and animal will be in my prayers.

Cathy said...

Hello Peggy

Thanks for popping in the other day. Many of us have been through a similar agony and as my grandkids would say - you are one neat lady.

Love to you and William
Take care
Cathy

amelia said...

I am just bawling reading this. How do you do it? It's the saddest thing to lose an animal, they are so innocent...

Barbara said...

Dear Nitro,
Thank you so much for all the Joy and Entertainment you have brought to your family and all the rest of us. You are very blessed to have such a wonderful caretakers in William and Peggy. While I know Peggy and William are sad don't worry they have so many wonderful memories that they will be able to look back on as well as many of your family members to keep the love going. Bless you Nitro and we are all sending you our Blessings and Love.

P.S. Peggy thank you for sharing and being so wonderful to Nitro who I have fallen in Love with. Sending both William and yourself Love and Sympathy.

Rachel said...

Oh Peggy, I am crying. I know your heart is breaking. I sure have been thinking about you a lot lately knowing this is such a difficult time.

Lady Laurie said...

Dear Peggy,
Saying prayers for you and Nitro too ~ Lots of love to you both
Laurie